Thursday, November 12, 2009

Ellen DeGeneres and Our Wives

My sister Pat keeps us up-to-date on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Last month she told us that Ellen was rapping about her “wife name Portia,” and the audience cheered. This week, she saw Ellen and Portia on Oprah in their first interview as a married couple.

Becky and I watched a wonderful You Tube clip of that interview. Oprah’s pride in the couple, Ellen and Portia’s palpable joy with each other, and all three of them so comfortably saying “wife” helped dispel the painful memories of the snickering I heard when lesbians began using that term a few years ago.

After our wedding, in September 2008, Becky and I started introducing each other as spouse rather than partner. But watching Ellen rap and seeing Oprah celebrate this legally married couple, Becky and I have begun calling each other wife. It feels wonderful. I wonder how much of other people’s discomfort with the term was a reflection of my own.

For those of you who missed hearing about our marriage at San Francisco City Hall, here are photos of me and my new . . . yes, wife!
(P.S. Thanks for Becky's sister Vicki Bohan for taking these pictures, ensuring that we had a visual record of this momentous event in our fifteen-year relationship.)